Using the Projections of Others to Help You Grow
What is actually being said..?
Have you ever thought that in your working environment, your family and other relationships, that you could actually take what you might have thought as criticism, as a tool for your own personal growth?
Sometimes sifting through the comments of others that you work with, your boss or colleagues, can be a bit disheartening. You sometimes wonder how much of what they say to you is positive, designed to help your growth…and how much is what you believe are projections on your psyche?
It can depend completely on how you view the comments, as to whether they can be positive for your growth, or whether they eat away at you….
Identify the positive feedback
After you either have had the verbal experience, or it has been written be it informally or in a report, sit down and circle what is useful. To do this, you have to put on your totally objective, non-emotional hat.
Sometimes, this feedback, these projections are actually useful and may contain an insight, even if you, at first read, or hearing, have reacted emotionally to it.
You may have been trying to do a hundred things at once and a friend or an associate may say to you…”You know, I think that it is great that you are being such an overachiever…but do you think it is really serving either yourself, or your work to try and do this?”
Often the first reaction is ..’It’s none of your business..” or …”I am in total control..” or ‘It’s my life/job and I know what I am doing…”
Or they might say…”Why don't you just focus on that one goal..?” And your reaction is …”You don't believe in me!”
And, then, after you have cooled down, you just might think…’Maybe that reflection is useful…Maybe if I focus on just a few of the important things right now and prioritise….maybe I just might get more things done and manifest more and be a calmer, happier person…’
‘Okay, let me circle that as useful’.
Or, then there is the abusive feedback…
Then someone else may say “You suck! What a useless thing to do! How will you ever succeed within this organization, if you behave like that?!!’
In that case, that is not useful, just derogatory abuse.
Your role with feedback of any sort is to filter, analyse, record and circle and retain the comments that are useful and helpful and offer good insight.
And look carefully and unemotionally at your fears, your insights and your vibrations around what has been projected onto you.
This way you will be able to filter others’ projections, see them for the motivation behind them and take out what is valuable for your personal growth and development.
You Absolutely Can Have it all
…and you can give back as well.